I ruin everything that I touch.
The horrors of the night melt away Under the warm glow of survival of the day Then we move on, My shadow grows taller along with my fears And my friends shrink smaller as night grows near When the sun is climbing window sills And the silver lining rides the hills I will be saved for one whole day Until the sun make the hills it’s grave.
I don’t know why I even try sometimes. Its hopeless, it really is. I try not to lose faith and try some more but things never get better. Happiness isn’t around the corner when all there is in life is to move forward. Things never get better, and when they do, it is only temporary. Things get good and the bad comes along and crushes it. I have no idea what i’m saying right now. This is not a post saying “ehrmahgerd life sucks feel bad for me.” Just an honest post. When will life ever be something that felt good to have, not something that would just suffice. I’m going to autopublish something to later this or next month, see if things turn are better by then.
22 Mar. 2013
Thank god its friday because fridays will always be better than sundays because sundays are my suicide days.
Thank god it’s Friday because Fridays will always be better than Sundays because Sundays are my suicide days. |-/
For Asset R. O’Morrow
Throw out the red and paint the soul,
Enamored by your presence
An apex of love reached because of your essence
Knew the consequences,
i dove right in even when i knew the toll.
Grab tight and release the strife
A deep void transfigured anew
a piercing feeling as sharp as a knife
A paragon is but dime a dozen compared to you.
And as I say this and look into your eyes bright
i love you and have a goodnight.
A view of the horizon on which my love for you has fallen.
Shattering into the deep void engulfing all that surround it.
A million pieces to hit the floor simultaneously.
A fire is lit into the soul.
Simple words to cast away any feeling.
Rain drops down from what once brought me joy.
My heart skips a beat and time stops.
It was over.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost
As I lay in my bed to contemplate my life i get the feeling of emptiness. Knowing that loneliness is soon to be my best friend. I feel it approach me. I am at a battle with myself and the emotions that fill my head to control every aspect of me. I run as fast as I can. Yet i’m too slow. It overwhelms me. Eats away at my soul and my internal being. My emotions slowly die out as the feeling of my body falls into a deeper dimension. An emotional void which is nothingness but a white landscape with no end. Its too much for me. I’m going crazy. In this emptiness there is still the pain. Little demons inside eat away at me and everything I’ve cared about. They tear the very insides of my soul. Constraining my throat its hard to breathe at the thought. It empowers them, lasting as long as I let them. Eating away at the happiness I once had sooner this day. Eating away at the joy in life killing every positive thought of the future to a blank. Awestruck in agony pain runs through my helpless paralyzed body. I’ve got to get myself together.
Why can’t I do anything right.
I think to myself, would anbody really care if i was gone.
When you are so mad you just imagine jumping around the classroom with a samurai sword killing everybody at once.
Wow you fuckup. Good job ruining everything. Thanks for making me horrible. Oh and losing that one thing that made your life good? That was fantastic. Thanks for that.